So this morning I sat down to type my monthly message to our readers and of course, as it often does my mind went wandering off in a million different directions.
Well, we’re putting the final touches to our Spring /Wedding edition and it got me thinking of fairytales and happily ever afters. and the question popped into my mind: Why do fairytales always end on the “Happily Ever After” and why does ‘happily ever after’ always get linked to Prince Charming?
Now the same question has occurred to me before and in my simple, very ‘girly’, very romantic view it was true, I had married my Prince Charming, got the picket fence, the model child etc etc. I was living my fairytale, my ‘dreams’ such as they were had come true. But life blessed me with a daughter and as I watch her go through the ‘growing pains’ of transitioning into a woman, I realise how important it is to change that narrative.
I’m thinking that our fairytales create unrealistic expectations for girls. As for little boys, as parents we feed them the stories of superheroes and how boys are always the ‘rescuers’ – I did it too so I’m guilty as charged. Our boys never learn to ‘manage’ their emotions as they’re ‘taught’ at a young age that it’s not cool to cry and girls become overly emotional and become ‘fixers’
I know I’m rambling a bit, but these are the thoughts on my mind this morning and I am no expert in psychology but I’m thinking our fairytales should extend beyond the wedding, they should include that relationships are not easy and when we think it is, is exactly where disappointment sets in. It requires work and effort from both sides. I’m thinking these things because as children we’re fed the ‘happily ever after ‘ story and then we get older and suddenly we discover or are told that ‘happiness’ comes from within and not to look for external validation etc etc.
The truth of the matter is the latter. So I’m thinking that we actually set ourselves up for failure and then as adults we have to go back and ‘correct’ all of those things that our fairytales told us were true.
In essence all I’m saying is that the stories of our childhood tell us that in order to be ‘complete’ or to live ‘happily ever after’ we need to have a partner, as we get older and read different books and are more exposed to ‘real life’ we realise that, hey, in order for us to actually live ‘happily ever after’ with another human being….we have to first live happily with ourselves.
We learn to need BECAUSE we love and NOT love because we need. We learn to love ourselves first and in so doing we can freely love another.
I’m thinking I should write a different fairytale about what happens after the big day….Perhaps I can call it, “Cinderella To The Rescue”
Just my thoughts and opinions….what are yours?
Have a fabulous day all,